Archives for January 2018

2017 in the Rearview, 2018 Ahead

So, 2017 was a weird, but good one.

 

It’s so easy for me to lose track of time and before I know it, things that happened weeks ago, feel like they were months ago, or worse, years ago.

I lose track of milestones, blessings, tragedies…everything.

The Christmas before last, so 2016, Mountain and I were talking. We were getting more worried about our not growing family. Another testament that I lose track of time- I thought we’d be trying for 3 years, turned out to be more like 4 1/2. Anyway, we said, if we’re not pregnant by next Christmas (2017), we’re going to adopt. I am so glad the road went this way. I’m so excited for the opportunity to love a baby that is outside anything I can imagine. Two things- don’t put God in a box. He doesn’t need one, He can break all those barriers so putting Him in a box is a limit on your faith and that’s not how He works; & I’ve asked God to make me love like He does, like He wants me to, and I think He is. It’s hard, at first, to imagine being a family with kids that I didn’t birth, but that’s the point, right?!

From March to September we had tried medications, which we were leary about anyway. I took 50 mg of Clomid for two cycles which triggered ovulation, I got a positive pregnant test in July, then a few more the week after, mixed with negatives. I was told it was a chemical pregnancy or early miscarriage, but I’m still not sure. Either way, as naive as this is, we had prayed for a sign that we should continue trying, that we should even be parents, etc, so that’s what it was. The Lord really does care. The next cycle, we upped the dosage to 100 mg, but that came with some unwelcome side affects- chest pains, shortness of breath, dizziness. I have had breathing issues in the past and it wasn’t really something I wanted to toy with.

We had discussed adoption before, but not in depth and we didn’t really know what it entailed. We started that process in November. We have completed the classes, filed all the required paperwork, made changes to our house, set up pack n plays, cribs, swings, carseats, etc. and are just waiting on a call.

So, other haps for 2017 were that I didn’t make it to Texas, between work schedules and sickness it just didn’t happen, but it’s going to this year! We did a few house projects- redone the master bath, revamped the master bedroom, had a garden, went on a short vacation to Pembroke, VA where Mountain Lake Lodge is- such a cute little getaway and such kind people, look ’em up! God let me see His hand in some local friends and some Instagram friends get pregnant- total miracle babies. These girls had been trying for YEARS with no success and are no either pregnant or just had their sweet gifts. How sweet is God to give me a hope like that. He doesn’t have to, but He did anyway.

Does anyone else pick a ‘word of the year’. I feel unsettled about this, but my word as of right now is ‘fearless’. Turns out I’m afraid of everything, so overcoming that is a necessary goal I think. I don’t want to raise kids to live in fear, I want them to be confident yet humble, feet & hands for Jesus. So, it’s about time I be the thing that I want my kids to see.

Y’all pray for us! We feel severely under prepared for babies, but we want it so much!

Thanks for checking in! Share your word or your 2017 review with me below or on Instagram!