Archives for July 2017

Signs, Signs, Everywhere A Sign

Have you heard that song? Okay, so I’ve only ever heard it like once, but it went with what I wanted to talk about today.

We prayed to God for a sign. That we were on the right track, that we were going to the right doctor and getting the right treatment, that His will for us to was to have a baby. I was feeling lost. Nothing was happening. No news, no positives, no negatives. Ovulation tests were pretty much null and void so I didn’t know what day it was or if I was ovulating at all. I was overwhelmed by the nothing-ness. Have you ever been there?

I thought I had pinpointed ovulation on cycle 2. I thought. Maybe that’s the issue- thinking. Anyhow, I went to visit my husband during that teeny window of possible fertility. We went to dinner. It rained. On the way out, there was a rainbow. How amazing. At the time, I thought, this is really our time. This is going to be it! There was a temperature hike, the OPK’s [ovulation prediction kit] were darker [still not perfect according to the package]. The next day was so perfect. The sun, the pool, the snacks just an awesome day. God’s gives us those days sometimes, doesn’t he? He’s so sweet!

So, since my ovulation wasn’t absolutely for sure, I was leary about starting a new cycle too soon. I gave it 3 extra weeks, just to be sure. I know, probably overkill and according to my doctor, that throws my body off. But on week 5 DPO [days past ovulation] I got a positive pregnancy test. Yes, that’s right, a positive. Over all these years of trying, I’ve never gotten a positive. I showed Mountain. We were shaking. Just hoping that the lines got darker, that the positive wasn’t a fluke, that all that had lined up and been so perfect for this exact reason. Over the next week, I realized what it was like to take ALL. THE. PREGNANCY. TESTS. I took at least 1 per day. It’s an overwhelming feeling of insanity. To be that obsessed with a line. I got several more positives, very very faint, like you had to move the test around in the right light kind of faint, but positive none the less.

It really didn’t occur to me until Mountain suggested that I call my doctor. I had always been told before not to call the doctor unless you’re sure and I had an appointment a week later so I wasn’t too concerned. [Plus I didn’t want to look like a fool if it was a fluke and had been negative the whole time] That Monday, I called, they send an order for a blood test, I went, I waited, and waited, and waited. It was negative. Shoot! What in the world then? What were the postives. What had happened? A chemical pregnancy? A false positive? I still don’t have an answer for that. Well, that’s a lie. I don’t have a medical answer for that. I had a Godly answer though. I had been praying for a sign. That we were doing the right thing, that the medication is what He wants me to do, that the doctor we picked is the right one. It was a divine sign. Thank You, Lord! So we’ll push on.

I saw my doctor this week and he has changed my medications and we’ll try another cycle. I am also looking into coaching as far as diet and exercise go. I’m researching a ketogenic diet, and different ways to lose weight. I’m trying to get a routine going so that maybe, just maybe, a period will start without medication. Pray for us, y’all! I sincerely want to quit the meds all-together. That would be so awesome! Natural is best for me.

Well, thanks for reading again, friends! I am so blessed to be part of the infertility community and cannot thank God enough for the ways He works in my life.




DIY: Dying Berry Baskets

{This post contains affiliate links. I did receive the berry baskets as compensation, but I would not promote a product I don’t love.}

Follow me on Instagram [here] to see other DIYs I’ve done!

Go check out Jessica and her awesome subscription boxes [my review of that here] on Instagram [here]or her website [here] to get some of these berry baskets!

I love these berry baskets! They’re so versatile. I mean, of course you can use them for berries, but why stop there?! Use them for binder clips, candy, hair things, pens, post-its, and on and on. What could you not use them for? I put cucumbers from my garden in them. Literally, anything!

So, you came here to learn how I did it, right?!

I’m not gonna tell you!

Ha- joking! joking!

Step one: Materials

Towel- preferably one that you don’t mind getting stains on because this stuff isn’t meant to come out.

Spray Bottle- can be small, it really doesn’t even take a bottle full to spray each basket. I used the same one for each different color; if you do this, just be sure to spray out all the old color before starting a new color.

Plastic Gloves- This stuff will stain your hands, you sink, anything it gets on so unless you have time to wait for it to come off of your hands, then get some gloves.

And finally, some fabric dye. I went in search of Rit Dye, but this brand is what I found and I’m sure it works the same way.

I also got a green color, more on that in a bit.

Step 2: Prep

My suggestion would be to either do this beside your sink or outside. Have all of your materials ready to go close by. If you’re going to do it outside, I would also suggest to have the water hose ready. I’m not saying the dye is absolutely permanent, I’m sure there is a way to get it off, there is for everything else, I’m just saying it would be difficult.  So, I had this all by my kitchen sink with the water running on low but hot.

Step 3: Get to Work

So, put on your gloves, put about a tablespoon of dye in the spray bottle and fill with hot water. Shake until mixed, then start spraying the baskets. You only want to spray enough to saturate the baskets with paint. Do not go overboard! The material that the baskets are made of can’t tolerate to be submerged or completely full of water and dye. Besides, it doesn’t need to be to get the color to stick, so just save yourself the heartache and spray it just enough to get a coat of color on the outside.

Step 4: Relax

Set the baskets up in a good place, preferably with airflow and maybe some sunlight. I dried mine on my kitchen counters on the towel, flipping them over after they had set overnight. The texture when they’re first sprayed changes to slightly flimsy, but as they dry they stiffen back up. It doesn’t change the original texture too much. They will be darker while wet than when they’re dry, just like when painting walls. So, if you want a darker color, either mix more of the dye in the spray bottle so it’s a higher concentration of dye to water or just apply more layers until your desired color comes out.

This is what I ended up with and I love them. The green color is slightly light than the original color of the baskets, so if you’re looking for a dramatic change and you have these blue/green baskets, I wouldn’t buy the green color.

I so appreciate you stopping by. If you like this post, please repin it for me by clicking the Pinterest button at the bottom so others can dye their berry baskets, too!

Go check out Jessica and her awesome subscription boxes [my review of that here] on Instagram [here]or her website [here] to get some of these berry baskets!

Love to all,



Pineapples Float, Babe

Here are some facts for ya:

Pineapples are not only the traditional symbol for southern hospitality, an icon for graciousness and warmth, but they are the symbol for the sweet girls navigating through infertility.

Furthermore, [no, I don’t actually say furthermore] did you know that pineapples float? Check it out on YouTube if you must but for real, they totally float! So let’s just start there. Victory is yours and mine. We got this! God’s got this!

Luke 7:22-25

It says they were on a lake. They could have walked around, lakes are usually enclosed, or at least narrow enough to swim, but that is not what Jesus said to do, that’s not where the peace and the storm were. In order to float, ya gotta go out in the water, babe! Go out and be a pineapple! The only time they started sinking is when they took their eyes and focus off of Jesus. It happens, but He is faithful to pull you back up when you look up again. Try looking up more often, it works out better that way.

There is no better encouragement to me than reading my Bible. I love all my fellow infertility girls, we all know what we need to hear, but the Lord’s comfort just surpasses it all. I have trouble sometimes. When people hear what you’re going through, the sympathy comes off more as pity than anything, and I don’t do pity well. Please, if you’re close to me and read my infertility posts, know that I am okay. I’m not depressed or on the verge of a breakdown all the time. I have sadness, but I also have hope. The Lord is restoring my heart towards our future baby every moment of every day. Also, from here on out, I’m not sure I’ll be sharing our specific treatments, I don’t want everyone to know exactly what we’re doing, so email or message me if you’d like to talk about it in detail, I’ll still talk about it that way. I might change my mind, but right now I’m just feeling overwhelmed by people knowing everything. There are some things I just love having between just me and my Mountain. The important thing to know is that God is working it out and I trust Him. I’m waiting for the moment when it’ll all change. All it takes is one positive pregnancy test. I’m waiting expectantly for that day.

“He already knows the little soul that supposed to be ours”- Katie Bettendorf






Our Year In Review

Hi y’all.

It’s been a year since we moved into our little brick rancher. I can’t believe it’s already been a year. Time sure doesn’t slow down. Since it’s our anniversary, I wanted to share some of the projects we’ve tackled so far.

Laundry Room/Utility Room

You can see that transformation [here]. It was one of the first rooms I tackled. I really needed more storage. I couldn’t reach half the shelves that were already there so, shelving/cabinets were a must. I had bought a washer and dryer at an auction before moving in, and those were in need of an update.

The laundry room runs into the (what I’m calling it anyway) butler’s pantry. The floors were sticky tile that I painted. You can check out that post [here].

When we moved in the walls in the living room were a maroon-ish color from halfway up and a cream color on the wainscoting from halfway down. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do love red in any form, but I have a lot of red decor and many of my antique pieces have a red undertone so it was just too much red. I went with white, oxford white from Sherwin Williams to be exact and a griege color on the bottom. I don’t have a post dedicated to that change, but several of my posts show it before and after. And the same goes for my family room, I changed the paint, but I don’t have a dedicated post to that, so you’ll just have to check out so of my other posts to see it. It was a mustard yellow color and now it’s, well, supposed to be gray, but most of the time it’s more of a slate blue color. I like it anyway!

There have been a few other small changes, but nothing major.

I am just so thankful for this home. We both love it, it’s been perfect for what we needed.

Thank y’all for stopping by.


Momma Heart Monday- Ashleigh

Hi all.

Momma Heart Mondays have quickly become my favorite. This week, I’ve asked Ashleigh to share her story. & bonus, she’s the sweetest, so be sure to check her out on Instagram [here]!

“Thanks for asking me to share our story.

Our little family got started in 2000, when my husband Marc and I fell madly in love and got married, 6 short months after our first date.  Even with all the bumps and bruises. We have lived happily ever after.

A quick little sidenote before I share our story- My teenage/puberty years were pretty rough. Endometriosis was not talked about nor did they know much about it. So I suffered with a disease that is very painful both physically and emotionally, without even knowing I had it. I grew up thinking I was a wimp because I would be in so much pain before and during my menstruation. I would cry for a week straight not only from the pain but from the emotional effects endometriosis has on your mind.

I first heard about endo in my later teenage years and figured that I had it. Being that I had endured most all of the symptoms up to that point in my life. With that I also learned that if I in fact did. It would be much harder to have a family. In my gut, I knew it was going to be an obstacle. And it proved to be just that.

About a year after Marc and I were married, we decided we were ready to start our family. Naturally I was excited and hopeful it would be easy. God had different plans. About a year into trying we knew it wasn’t going to be an easy road. We decided to have Marc get tested and found that between my endo and his test results the odds were against us that we would have a family. Needless to say it was devastating. But we stayed close to each other, prayed a lot, cried a lot, even fought a lot. It was so hard!

We spent 5 years trying different fertility options and even started filling out adoption papers, about 3 years into trying. Yet every time we started something new it was either a disappointment, loss or didn’t feel right. I had a reoccurring conversation with God. “Why when I want something so good? Is it so hard? I am not asking for a million dollars or a mansion. I am asking to be a Mom. To love and hold and raise one of your’s” The feeling I would always get is be patient, you will be a mama. I held onto that real tight for what seemed like forever.

We went into our last ever fertility doctors appt in March of our 5th year of trying. I was hopeful yet again that this was it. This was our ticket. This was as far as we were both willing to go with fertility, so it had to be it. Marc and I sat there holding hands as the doctor looked at both of us and said “I am sorry to tell you, you have one in a million chance that this will work for you two”. I held back the tears that were about to become uncontrollable, until we got to the car. In my mind I was done. That was my last try. I didn’t have it in me to hurt over this experience anymore. So I cried on our floor for 3 day’s straight. I was mourning a loss. I let go of holding onto being a mama. I was so mad at God. I hurt to my very core.

Here is where my personal miracle begins. God helped lift me out of the deep depression I was in. And I found it in me, to give it one more shot. Marc and I sat down and prayed. We asked God if we should start the adoption process yet again. For the first time, the timing felt right and I was hopeful and excited. Super excited! We met that week with an adoption agency. Our caseworker said “Start telling everyone you know you are wanting to adopt”.

We jumped on getting our profile ready and all the millions of papers filled out. There was a fire in me like no other time. I couldn’t get done with everything fast enough.

The same week we met with our caseworker. We happened to have a dinner date scheduled with Marc’s cousin Sam and his wife Amee. We followed his orders to spread the word, that we were wanting to adopt. We shared our recent experiences with them, had a great night and went on our way.

A couple day’s  later I got a call from Amee. She  said “I was at church yesterday and learned that, one of the women I serve with, has a daughter that is giving her baby up for adoption. She is due in 3 months and they haven’t found a family yet. Would you like me to give them your information? I was nearly jumping out my roof with excitement at this point. “Yes, yes please”

They asked for our profile of pictures and who we are. Amee delivered our profile to them that day. What happened next still feels like a dream. I got call the day after giving them our profile from their family saying “WE CHOOSE YOU TWO” I was going to be a mama. My empty arms were going to be filled. Where my heart hurt and ached it no longer did.

We were blessed to do lots of family gatherings with our birth family in those 3 months, before Eli was born. We had so much to do, to prepare. Yet time seemed like it was going so slow. There are so many emotions that come with adoption and unanswered questions. Like is he really going to be ours? Or how do we navigate all these new relationships in our lives? Your heart is so excited to be a mama yet aches for your birth family. You do the whole nesting thing of cleaning and preparing, yet being so tired from all the crazy emotions. You worry along with everyone else about the labor and delivery and health of the baby.

We were asked by our birth mother and her parents to be apart of one of the 2 greatest experiences of our lives. They asked if we wanted to be in the delivery room when our baby was born. Our answer was without a doubt YES!

June 6th 2005 I got to see my baby boy enter the world. The experience is one I can not describe. My heart fell in love with our little Eli long before he was born and melted, when I saw his sweet face for the first time. It was love at first sight. Marc and I got to give him his first bath and stare at this perfect little baby. We couldn’t take ours eyes off of him. He was perfect in every way.

He carries apart of of his birth mother with him as she gave him his middle name. It is a name that will always always have love, respect and her mama heart attached to it.

God held true to his promise that I would be a mama. It was through him that our paths meet up, with our birth families and became our own personal miracle.

I can not share one of our miracle stories without sharing the other. They are equally as important as each other.

2 years into navigating parenthood. We got a phone call from Marc’s sister asking, if we were thinking about adopting again. Our answer was without a doubt YES! She began to tell Marc that one of her very dear friends had a niece that was looking into adoption.

We set up to meet her at a restaurant followed by goofy golf, since we had our little toddler joining us. We had an amazing evening with her. She was so sweet with Eli. They had a special connection.

SHE CHOSE US! I couldn’t believe that I was going to get to be a mama again. The joy and love is like nothing I have ever felt before. Our hearts were bursting with excitement.

We had the privilege of having Sariah’s birth mother, live with us the last 3 months of her pregnancy. It was an experience, that I will cherish forever. She allowed us into her life and Sariah’s life before she was born. She let me rub her belly and talk to Sariah. I got to be at ultrasound appts. She played with Eli everyday and I know that is why Sariah and Eli have such a strong brother sister bond. From day one they have been best friends.

I remember the night she started having regular contractions. I was trying to help her time them. With that came so many emotions of love, concern again for the labor and delivery and health of our baby and uncertainty, that I was the right person to help her. We rushed to the hospital just her and I while Marc stayed with Eli until he heard word from me.

We got to the hospital and her contractions stopped. They told us to walk the halls and see if they would start up again. Her water broke walking the hospital halls.

On October 14th 2007 at the foot of our birth mothers bed, along with Marc and her family we saw the most beautiful baby girl be born. I held her perfect little everything in my arms and my heart melted yet again. It was love at first sight. Marc and I gave her, her first bath and wanted to wrap her up and just squeeze her.
We watched a miracle happen right before our eyes that day. My once empty arms were filled with two of the most beautiful children that stole my heart before they were ever born.

When Eli got to meet his baby sister, we were in a room with just our family and he sat on Marc’s lap and held our calm, content Sariah on his lap. Stared at her and gently touched her face and kissed her head. My mama tears and heart were overflowing. You could feel the love and bond between them. It is unbreakable.

Sariah also carries apart of of her birth mother with her, as she gave Sariah her middle name. It is a name that will always always have love, respect and her mama heart attached to it.

There was a time as I shared that I did not think I would be a mama. But I am and God knew that my babies weren’t ready to come to earth when we first started our journey. There were so many paths and lives and experiences that needed to happen, to join our families together. I learned A LOT during that time. Things I could have not learned any other way.  God never left my side and he never stopped orchestrating the perfect flawless plan to bringing Marc and I to the miracle of parenthood.

To my waiting to be mama’s. Life is a journey with lots of twists and turns, bumps and bruises but we are not navigating it alone. My heart aches for your hurt right now, yet gets excited for day you become a mama. You get to be apart of a miracle. All those days of crying are healed in a split second when you hold your baby for the first time.”
Are y’all crying?! Because I am. How sweet!
I am so thankful to each of you for stopping by! Come back next week for another Momma Heart Monday!