Have you heard that song? Okay, so I’ve only ever heard it like once, but it went with what I wanted to talk about today.
We prayed to God for a sign. That we were on the right track, that we were going to the right doctor and getting the right treatment, that His will for us to was to have a baby. I was feeling lost. Nothing was happening. No news, no positives, no negatives. Ovulation tests were pretty much null and void so I didn’t know what day it was or if I was ovulating at all. I was overwhelmed by the nothing-ness. Have you ever been there?
I thought I had pinpointed ovulation on cycle 2. I thought. Maybe that’s the issue- thinking. Anyhow, I went to visit my husband during that teeny window of possible fertility. We went to dinner. It rained. On the way out, there was a rainbow. How amazing. At the time, I thought, this is really our time. This is going to be it! There was a temperature hike, the OPK’s [ovulation prediction kit] were darker [still not perfect according to the package]. The next day was so perfect. The sun, the pool, the snacks just an awesome day. God’s gives us those days sometimes, doesn’t he? He’s so sweet!
So, since my ovulation wasn’t absolutely for sure, I was leary about starting a new cycle too soon. I gave it 3 extra weeks, just to be sure. I know, probably overkill and according to my doctor, that throws my body off. But on week 5 DPO [days past ovulation] I got a positive pregnancy test. Yes, that’s right, a positive. Over all these years of trying, I’ve never gotten a positive. I showed Mountain. We were shaking. Just hoping that the lines got darker, that the positive wasn’t a fluke, that all that had lined up and been so perfect for this exact reason. Over the next week, I realized what it was like to take ALL. THE. PREGNANCY. TESTS. I took at least 1 per day. It’s an overwhelming feeling of insanity. To be that obsessed with a line. I got several more positives, very very faint, like you had to move the test around in the right light kind of faint, but positive none the less.
It really didn’t occur to me until Mountain suggested that I call my doctor. I had always been told before not to call the doctor unless you’re sure and I had an appointment a week later so I wasn’t too concerned. [Plus I didn’t want to look like a fool if it was a fluke and had been negative the whole time] That Monday, I called, they send an order for a blood test, I went, I waited, and waited, and waited. It was negative. Shoot! What in the world then? What were the postives. What had happened? A chemical pregnancy? A false positive? I still don’t have an answer for that. Well, that’s a lie. I don’t have a medical answer for that. I had a Godly answer though. I had been praying for a sign. That we were doing the right thing, that the medication is what He wants me to do, that the doctor we picked is the right one. It was a divine sign. Thank You, Lord! So we’ll push on.
I saw my doctor this week and he has changed my medications and we’ll try another cycle. I am also looking into coaching as far as diet and exercise go. I’m researching a ketogenic diet, and different ways to lose weight. I’m trying to get a routine going so that maybe, just maybe, a period will start without medication. Pray for us, y’all! I sincerely want to quit the meds all-together. That would be so awesome! Natural is best for me.
Well, thanks for reading again, friends! I am so blessed to be part of the infertility community and cannot thank God enough for the ways He works in my life.