I haven’t had anything to really write about for a couple of weeks.
Ya know, I had other blogs before, and I was always like “If I had started writing posts well before ‘going live’ I would have a better handle on the balance of ‘Blogging’.
Have you ever seen the episode of ‘FRIENDS’ where the girls are reevaluating their life plans?
They ask Pheebs if she has a plan and she replies “I don’t even have a ‘plah’ (like the first two letters of plan).
I always think of that.
I’ve read a lot about how these big time bloggers write months in advance and make readjustments and edits and tons of photos and I’m over here like, I wrote dis. myself. at 5am. then I didn’t write again for a month.
Pro blogger I am not!
That extra hour of sleep last night has me feeling mighty fine though so here we are.
No new developments on the baby front.
No appointments, no new meds, no BFP’s.
That sounds like I’m being whiney but I’m not trying to be, just a statement, I’m okay with how things are going.
Although recently I’ve been thinking about my commitment level to things.
The only thing I am whole-heartedly committed to, is Tyler, and I fail a lot there too.
I’m kind of a ‘good enough’ kind of person.
So as I’m typing this, I realize how pathetic that sounds, but I try to be real here.
So, with all this being said, I need to buckle down on my commitments.
I feel like I commit to things in waves- I go full-tilt until I wear myself out, then I nap hard for weeks without doing much of anything and then hit the commits hard again.
I have trouble seeing the long-term of my decisions.
If I want a baby, I need to buckle down about weight-loss. I have to get my habits under control and surrender this struggle to the One who can change it all. I have plenty of time during the day to work in a work-out, I just tend to skim Pinterest like crazy- my thumbs are very lean. (*Eye roll*)
This blog isn’t going to write itself. I need to commit to my projects and to being the best at this I can be. When I started it, I felt like it was my ‘in’ for the interior design work (no snarky comments about my talent level, lol) but the more I get into it, I feel like God has sent me here for the infertility side. I’m not saying He’s not making an in for the design part too, I don’t know, I just know what it feels like right now. Sharing that part of me- is not easy. Vulnerability and transparency is tough. I know a lot of gals, on Instagram, have private separate accounts for their TTC ventures. I don’t. Sometimes I wish I did, because I follow and am followed by strangers and family and both of those sides can be terrifying and encouraging.
I’m so thankful for the way God has laid things out for me. It’s not always easy but it is worth it and I grow more in Him each day and that makes all the difference.